I never thought I’d find myself lying in a hospital bed, staring at the stark white ceiling, contemplating my entire married life. The smell of disinfectant, the sound of nurses’ footsteps in the hallway—all of it left me feeling empty and exhausted. Uterine cancer—those four words were like a cold knife cutting through my unfinished plans.

The day the doctor told me I had to have my uterus removed, I almost collapsed. It meant I would never be able to get pregnant again. I cried for a long time, crying for the child I had lost years ago, crying for myself, crying for the seemingly normal hopes of a woman.

During my time in the hospital, I received two savings passbooks. One was brought by my ex-husband, and the other by my current husband. Two passbooks, two people, two completely different lives, yet they stirred up more turmoil in my heart than ever before.

My ex-husband and I divorced three years ago. The reason is simple, yet heartbreaking: he loved his work more than his family. In three years of marriage, I never once got to go back to my maternal hometown for Tet (Lunar New Year). Every time I suggested it, he would say:

– I’m very busy with work, you can go home first.

But I don’t want to go alone. I want my husband by my side, I want the feeling of a complete family, that’s all.

My ex-husband and I divorced three years ago. (Illustrative image)

The worst moment was when I fell in the bathroom while pregnant. Lying on the cold floor, in pain and panic, I realized there was no one beside me. I crawled out and called an ambulance myself. After the surgery, my baby was gone. Lying in the hospital bed, I finally called my ex-husband. When he arrived, the first thing I said was:

Let’s get a divorce.

He was stunned, and my heart had grown cold. After the divorce, he gave me about 300 million dong from his savings and the house we used to live in. He said he was at fault, that it was too late to make amends. I left, carrying the hurt but also the determination to start over.

Two years later, I married again. My current husband is an ordinary man, working office hours, divorced, and with a 5-year-old son. I love the boy as if he were my own, caring for and cherishing him. Once, the boy hugged me and said:

Mom, please don’t leave me.

That one sentence alone was enough to soften my heart.

Life with my current husband isn’t wealthy, but it’s peaceful. He spends time with the family, eats dinner with me every night, and takes us for walks on weekends. I used to think that was enough.

Until I was hospitalized.

Life with my current husband isn’t wealthy, but it’s peaceful. (Illustrative image)

When my ex-husband came to visit, I was quite surprised. He had lost a lot of weight, and his eyes were full of worry. He sat beside my bed, held my hand, and whispered:

– Whatever happens, we must get proper treatment; life is the most important thing.

Before leaving, he placed a savings passbook in my hand. A few days later, my current husband gave me one too. He hesitated before saying:

– This is all I can do for you, please don’t be sad.

When I opened the two notebooks, my heart sank. My ex-husband sent me 800 million, while my current husband only sent 100 million; the difference was so obvious.

That night, I tossed and turned, unable to sleep. I remembered what my ex-husband had said before he left:

– It’s okay if you don’t have children. In the past, I didn’t care enough, and I regret it deeply. If you agree, I still want to get back together.

My current husband doesn’t say flowery words or make grand promises. He just quietly stays by my side, taking me to doctor’s appointments and cooking me bowls of porridge. But that 100 million dong figure keeps popping up in my head, leaving me confused and hurt.

I know comparing feelings with money is wrong. But during illness, when a woman is at her weakest, everyone wants to be placed in the most important position in someone else’s heart. I don’t need wealth, but I need to feel prioritized and appreciated.

Now, I stand between two choices. On one side is the person who once hurt me but is now willing to give their all for me. On the other side is my husband, who is by my side, simple, sincere, but whose abilities and sacrifices seem limited.

Lying in my hospital bed, I understood that any choice would leave me with regrets. Perhaps what I needed most right now wasn’t money, nor promises, but time to truly listen to my heart. Because ultimately, the person who would spend the rest of my life with me needed not only to love me, but also to make me feel secure.