My name is Madison Carter, 28 years old, and I live in a quiet suburb outside Seattle. Just a few days ago, I officially became a widow.
I was married for a little over three years, yet almost two-thirds of that time, I had to raise our child alone. I carried everything on my shoulders—work, childcare, household responsibilities, the endless expectations from my mother-in-law. I was so exhausted that some nights I cried myself to sleep, but I still told myself to stay strong because my husband was far away, working hard.
My husband, Ethan Carter, was never an ideal man. He had a serious habit of gambling and drinking. Just one year into our marriage, he accumulated nearly $32,000 in debt. At that time, we had no idea how to earn enough to pay it off—our factory salaries barely covered basic expenses.
That was when Ethan listened to some friends and decided to go to Japan as a labor worker. I stayed behind in the U.S., caring for our child and taking care of his difficult mother. There were many moments when I felt completely alone, but I kept reminding myself: “Ethan is out there working day and night so our family can have a better life.” I held on to that thought to survive.
After more than a year in Japan, Ethan told me he had managed to pay off nearly all the debt. Every time he called home, he encouraged me to be strong and wait for him. “Just two more years,” he said. “Once I have enough savings, we’ll start a small business together. Life will get better.”
But then, for almost an entire year, he didn’t send a single dollar home. I had to handle every expense on my own—rent, food, school for our child. Whenever I asked about the money, he always had an excuse:
“Work is unstable right now.”
“Because of the pandemic, I’m not earning like before.”
“Just hold on a little longer.”
Friends around me suspected that he might be spending money on someone else, but I refused to believe that. I stubbornly held onto the image of a loyal, hardworking husband.
Then came the day that shattered everything.
I received a phone call from Japan. The voice on the other end told me that Ethan had passed away suddenly due to a stroke. Bringing his body home would cost more than I could afford, so after handling all necessary paperwork, they performed cremation in Japan. Only then could they send his remains back to the U.S.
The day I drove to the airport to receive his ashes, I sobbed uncontrollably, telling myself that at least he was coming home. That at least I could bring him back to rest where he belonged.
But fate wasn’t done with me.
When I arrived home and opened Ethan’s backpack—the one returned along with his belongings—I froze.
Inside were dozens of photos.
Photos of Ethan with another woman.
They were smiling, holding hands, traveling together, taking pictures like a couple deeply in love. There were receipts for gifts he had bought her. Hotel cards. Even a little note written in Japanese that said: “Thank you for choosing me.”
My whole world collapsed.
So all this time, while I was breaking myself to raise our child and please his mother…
While I cried alone on nights he didn’t call…
While I believed he was saving money for our future…
He was living a completely different life with another woman.
That was why he stopped sending money home.
That was why every month he had a new excuse.
That was why he grew distant.
He didn’t lose his love for me gradually—
he had given it to someone else.
I didn’t know whether to cry or scream.
How could he betray me like that?
How could he leave me to carry everything alone while he found comfort elsewhere?
And then he died—just like that—forcing me to become a widow before I even turned thirty.
I am now left with a child, two empty hands, and a mountain of responsibilities. Everyone tells me to be strong, to forgive him because “he’s gone now,” but how do you forgive someone who hurt you even as they left you behind?
To be honest, after seeing those photos,
I felt more anger than grief.
I hate that he left me with nothing but heartbreak.
I hate that he lived happily with another woman while I struggled.
And most of all,
I hate that now—when everything has fallen apart—
I’m the one who has to figure out how to survive, how to raise our child, how to rebuild everything from zero.
Because he chose the easier path.
He left.
And I’m the one who has to stay.