The rain in Maine that November came down in sheets, heavy as buckshot. I sat in the dark kitchen, the fireplace’s dying glow flickering across the bank statement on the table: four months of the last months were blank—no transfers from Laura. Five hundred dollars every month, steady as the moon, had simply stopped. I clutched the paper until it crumpled, my hands shaking so hard the coffee sloshed over the rim of the mug. Laura—my daughter, the only child I had left in this side of the grave—had gone silent. And I was terrified of what I was about to learn.
I drove the old pickup to the bank the next morning through a cold that bit straight through the windshield. Emily, the young teller who used to sit in Laura’s lap at story-time when she was little, looked at me with a sorrow I couldn’t yet name. I slid the passbook across the counter. “Can you check if Laura sent anything this month?”
Emily tapped the keys. One second. Two. Then she turned the monitor toward me, voice barely above a whisper: “Mrs. Ellis… the money is still coming in. Every single month. Five hundred dollars on the dot. Not once has it missed.”
The floor tilted under my feet. “But my account is empty.”
Emily swallowed. “Six months ago, every transfer was redirected to a new trust account. The beneficiary is… Ethan Robert Ellis. Minor Trust.”
Robert—my husband’s name—standing next to a stranger’s name: Ethan.
I walked out of the bank without remembering how my legs carried me. The rain kept falling, but I didn’t feel it anymore. There was only a hot, hollow space in my chest, burning quietly. When I got home I called Sarah—Sarah, Laura’s closest friend in Boston—and finally heard the truth I’d been lying to myself about for half a year: Laura had died in a car wreck on I-95 in pouring rain just like this. She died on impact. No suffering. No goodbye.
I screamed inside that empty house. The scream bounced off the pine walls and died, the way everything else had. I pounded the table until my knuckles bled, cried until there was nothing left, then laughed—laughed like a madwoman because my daughter had still been sending me money every month even while she lay six feet underground. I had been talking to a ghost through those little bank notes: Love you, Mom – L.
Sarah told me Laura had found out she had stage-four lung cancer when she was seven months pregnant. She hid it because she couldn’t bear for me to watch her waste away—hair gone, skin translucent, the strong girl I raised reduced to a shadow. She was afraid I—the old-fashioned mother who once cried over green hair in high school—wouldn’t accept an unwed pregnancy. So she sold her Back Bay condo, poured everything into an index-fund trust, set up automatic $500 monthly transfers to me for the rest of my life, and another stream for Ethan—her son—until he turned eighteen.
There was also a video.
I watched it the next day in the little room behind the teller windows where people usually sign mortgage papers. Laura lay in a hospital bed, bald, hollow-cheeked, but her eyes still shone the way they did when she was eight and believed she could fly. She smiled, faint and crooked: “Mom… I’m sorry I was such a coward. I didn’t want you to see me like this. I’m leaving everything to you and to Ethan. He looks just like Dad, Mom. He’s got that dimple on the left cheek. I love you. Don’t cry, okay? I’m just… gone fishing with Dad for a while.”
I sobbed so hard Emily had to help me to the car.
Sarah took me to the small apartment in Somerville two days later. The door opened and a little boy, maybe five, barreled into Sarah’s legs, then looked up at me—Robert’s ocean-blue eyes, Laura’s wild blond curls. He was wearing a red sweater, fingers paint-stained, and asked in the clearest voice imaginable: “Who are you?”
I went down on my knees, tears hitting the scuffed floorboards. “I’m… your grandma.”
Ethan hesitated, then reached up with one sticky hand and wiped my cheek like he was brushing away dust. “Don’t cry. Mommy said Grandma likes chocolate-chip cookies.”
I held him so tight I was afraid I’d break him, breathing in the scent of warm milk and crayons and summer still clinging to his hair.
Sarah explained that Laura had planned everything with terrifying precision. She hired caregivers, wrote letters she tucked into drawers, recorded bedtime stories so his nights would never be silent, and wrote a will that said: If my mother is still alive, take Ethan to Maine. She knew I would need a reason to keep breathing.
The “missing” four months had simply been the bank switching the transfers to Ethan’s new trust; my original lifeline had continued quietly in the background—I had just been too afraid to look closely enough to see it.
Now every month I still receive Laura’s five hundred dollars. I keep two hundred fifty for myself and voluntarily send the other two hundred fifty to Ethan’s education account. I sold the pine house in Boothbay and moved to Boston to live with Sarah and my grandson. The new apartment is smaller, the walls thinner, but every morning I wake to small bare feet thumping down the hallway and a voice calling, “Grandma, you awake yet?”
Laura is gone, but in the most final, most beautiful way possible, she sent me an entire sky.
And I am no longer alone. I have a little boy named Ethan Robert Ellis who has a dimple on his left cheek, and every time he smiles I hear Laura whispering: I’m just gone fishing with Dad, Mom. See you soon.